Things that piss me off beyond all reason

[pktechgirlbackup]

#1:  the phrase "tongue planted firmly in cheek."  This phrase is just graphic and odd enough that it slows me down considerably as I picture it, and yet  common enough that it gains the user no originality points over using the simpler "tongue in cheek" , especially since everyone uses that exact phrase.   Plus, most of the people who use it are doing so incorrectly, and really want a simple <sarcasm> tag.  And it doesn't even make sense.  Moving your tongue that far over will tense the muscle no matter what you do, so there's no "tongue planted gently in cheek".  But it's a tongue, so even that isn't very firm.