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pktechgirlbackupJust finished I Think We're Alone Now, a documentary about two mentally challenged individuals obsessed with pop star Tiffany. It is one of those excellent examples of how studying a severely broken system can give us insight into systems that we think are healthy but are actually subtly broken.
At first, I had a real problem with the way they listed their subjects as "Jeff Turner, suffering from Asperger's syndrome, and intersex Kelly McCormick", because it seemed to imply that Kelly's intersexuality caused her inappropriate behavior the way Jeff's Asperger's caused his. I have no information other than what was in the documentary, and being forced to grow up as the gender she no longer identifies with clearly has left McCormick with emotional problems, but I highly suspect that her worst, weirdest behavior has a lot to do with the traumatic head injury they briefly mention. Implying intersexuality was the cause was a slight towards intersexuality.
But thinking about it: Asperger's isn't a particularly good explanation for Turner's problems either. See this brilliant comment on Captain Awkward. Autism spectrum disorder sufferers may be crap at detecting nonverbal or otherwise implicit cues, but the good eggs respond to this by getting really good at Using Their Words. It may feel awkward to people used to accomplishing the same thing implicitly, but the good intentions are abundantly clear.
To take a non-Tiffany example from the doc: a well intentioned, up on the latest in gender expression person will make a best attempt to figure out what gender a person identifies as without explicitly asking, to avoid making them self conscious. This isn't always possible, and it's usually better to err on the side of asking rather than being wrong, but in many cases it's trivial even when someone's gender identity seems pretty at odds with their appearance. ASD people will have more trouble with this than most, will be worse at intuiting someone's gender identity, and depending on the person may go through a phase of "but The Rule is Penis = Man.", but once you explain "People's chosen pronouns override the ones they were given at birth, ask if you have any doubt.", ASD should in some ways make them more amenable than neurotypicals to just accepting that and moving on.
In contrast, when Jeff meets Kelly, he decides to use the pronoun "he", because "I see him as a man, and that's the advantage of hermaphrodites: you get to choose." That's not Asperger's, that's being an asshole. And while AS could explain Turner missing the cues that Tiffany was clearly uncomfortable with the amount of physical affection he was inflicting on her, it does not explain why he persists in insisting he had an absolute right to wait for a teenage girl holding a sword. Or that any time you need to dodge security guards to do what you you're doing, people will be upset. That is something AS people are capable of understanding if they want to.
By the end of the documentary, Jeff is phasing out Tiffany in favor of Alyssa Milano. Here he is explaining his side of the story, which is basically "I wanted to say hi. all I did was take a walk through some dense woods, happen to dodge all of the security guards in the area, and stare at her through a glass door. People are blowing it all out of proportion with lies like 'I opened the door' or 'I tried to break in'. The security agents weren't even upset and the cops recognized that my intentions were honorable". Which is bad enough on its own (i.e. 'requires new words to describe how bad it is'), but then you read this Captain Awkward post bout men excusing their rapey friends, and realize that it's just a more obvious version of what happens all the time- this idea that right up until the second you actually rape someone, your desire to express your desire for her, and feel like a good person while doing so, is more important her right to not interact with you. Or take this Yes Means Yest post, in which a sizable number of commenters hold protecting the feelings of people who might be accused of violating consent above preventing violations of consent. Or this reddit thread that asked rapists to describe the rapes they committed, and a huge number of sexual-assault-but-not-rape stories generated a huge number of "dude, you're such a good person for stopping before you penetrated her" or "don't beat yourself, you totally wanted her to be into it" comments.
I can't figure out the significance of this but: Turner offhandedly mentions that Tiffany is a proficient martial artist and when, defending himself from the stalking charge, that Alyssa Milano is an expert with both firearms and several forms of armed and unarmed martial arts. According to Dr. Internet, this just is not true. That is an awfully specific delusion.
Ultimately, the scariest thing in I Think We're Alone Now is that there are people behaving as badly as Jeff Turner all the time, but because they pick weak targets and have the social skills to keep the focus on their feelings, they face no consequences.
At first, I had a real problem with the way they listed their subjects as "Jeff Turner, suffering from Asperger's syndrome, and intersex Kelly McCormick", because it seemed to imply that Kelly's intersexuality caused her inappropriate behavior the way Jeff's Asperger's caused his. I have no information other than what was in the documentary, and being forced to grow up as the gender she no longer identifies with clearly has left McCormick with emotional problems, but I highly suspect that her worst, weirdest behavior has a lot to do with the traumatic head injury they briefly mention. Implying intersexuality was the cause was a slight towards intersexuality.
But thinking about it: Asperger's isn't a particularly good explanation for Turner's problems either. See this brilliant comment on Captain Awkward. Autism spectrum disorder sufferers may be crap at detecting nonverbal or otherwise implicit cues, but the good eggs respond to this by getting really good at Using Their Words. It may feel awkward to people used to accomplishing the same thing implicitly, but the good intentions are abundantly clear.
To take a non-Tiffany example from the doc: a well intentioned, up on the latest in gender expression person will make a best attempt to figure out what gender a person identifies as without explicitly asking, to avoid making them self conscious. This isn't always possible, and it's usually better to err on the side of asking rather than being wrong, but in many cases it's trivial even when someone's gender identity seems pretty at odds with their appearance. ASD people will have more trouble with this than most, will be worse at intuiting someone's gender identity, and depending on the person may go through a phase of "but The Rule is Penis = Man.", but once you explain "People's chosen pronouns override the ones they were given at birth, ask if you have any doubt.", ASD should in some ways make them more amenable than neurotypicals to just accepting that and moving on.
In contrast, when Jeff meets Kelly, he decides to use the pronoun "he", because "I see him as a man, and that's the advantage of hermaphrodites: you get to choose." That's not Asperger's, that's being an asshole. And while AS could explain Turner missing the cues that Tiffany was clearly uncomfortable with the amount of physical affection he was inflicting on her, it does not explain why he persists in insisting he had an absolute right to wait for a teenage girl holding a sword. Or that any time you need to dodge security guards to do what you you're doing, people will be upset. That is something AS people are capable of understanding if they want to.
By the end of the documentary, Jeff is phasing out Tiffany in favor of Alyssa Milano. Here he is explaining his side of the story, which is basically "I wanted to say hi. all I did was take a walk through some dense woods, happen to dodge all of the security guards in the area, and stare at her through a glass door. People are blowing it all out of proportion with lies like 'I opened the door' or 'I tried to break in'. The security agents weren't even upset and the cops recognized that my intentions were honorable". Which is bad enough on its own (i.e. 'requires new words to describe how bad it is'), but then you read this Captain Awkward post bout men excusing their rapey friends, and realize that it's just a more obvious version of what happens all the time- this idea that right up until the second you actually rape someone, your desire to express your desire for her, and feel like a good person while doing so, is more important her right to not interact with you. Or take this Yes Means Yest post, in which a sizable number of commenters hold protecting the feelings of people who might be accused of violating consent above preventing violations of consent. Or this reddit thread that asked rapists to describe the rapes they committed, and a huge number of sexual-assault-but-not-rape stories generated a huge number of "dude, you're such a good person for stopping before you penetrated her" or "don't beat yourself, you totally wanted her to be into it" comments.
I can't figure out the significance of this but: Turner offhandedly mentions that Tiffany is a proficient martial artist and when, defending himself from the stalking charge, that Alyssa Milano is an expert with both firearms and several forms of armed and unarmed martial arts. According to Dr. Internet, this just is not true. That is an awfully specific delusion.
Ultimately, the scariest thing in I Think We're Alone Now is that there are people behaving as badly as Jeff Turner all the time, but because they pick weak targets and have the social skills to keep the focus on their feelings, they face no consequences.
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no subject
Date: 2012-08-09 06:10 pm (UTC)