I would be *awesome* at school now
May. 15th, 2011 01:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pktechgirlbackupAs a child, I loved writing and reading, but fairly early on I started to hate classes focused on these things. They weren't *objective*, so I could be graded poorly through what felt like no fault on my own^. And even if STEM classes had been as subjective as English, my math homework exposed exactly 0% of my soul. Also, there's a rough correlation between how technically "pure" a class is (with math being 100% pure, and Gender Studies as 0% pure) and how much a professor's stupidity matters, and I was not prepared to deal with professors' stupidity.
My CS/Bio double major hurt more than it looked. Not only did it require a lot of courses, and a lot of very long sequences requiring exquisite timing on my part*, but it made my schedule very rigid. I couldn't take the risk of signing up for a potentially interesting but also potentially stupid class, because I couldn't afford to drop it without replacing it, and the chances of finding something else that interested me, fulfilled my degree requirement, and fit into my schedule were miniscule. So I not only refused to take more than the bare minimum number of required social science and humanities courses, I went through some shenanigans to lower the investment those took**.
Lately (5 years post college) I've been regretting that decision. I can do my own reading in social sciences and humanities, but I lack a wise mentor or informed peer group to discuss it with. I'm eternally grateful for the internet for the blogging community that lets me approximate these things, but it's Not The Same.
But maybe it's Not The Same for the better. I went to a Feminist Science Fiction book club last week. I hadn't enjoyed the book, but it was the kind of non-enjoyment that could be turned around by an interesting discussion revealing things I hadn't thought of. That did not happen. My big thought when I left (early) was "hipsters are real." On the other hand, the friend that went with me, who was a religious studies major, felt like she'd gone home to college. So while I'm extremely happy I was able to introduce a friend to something she loves, I'm now thinking maybe it's just as well I kept to my narrow range of interests. Yes, the straightjacket feeling was unpleasant, but it was the only way to get both majors, and they given me a huge degree of freedom post college. In retrospect, the thing to do would have been to gather data from friends about which professors were actually good and try to take their classes, but it didn't occur to me to choose based on anything but class description at the time (hello, introversion***).
So I was reaching peace with my college course selection when I had a dream that I'd reenrolled at my undergrad institution and was majoring in biochem (a subject that interests me more now than it did then, but is still not an area of focus for me). This inspired me to wander around undergrad institution's course website, and then my local university's website. And man, I just want to go be a professional student forever now.
^Which seems like exactly what Alfie Kohn was taking about in Punished by Rewards
*My last semester, I had to pray German 2.5 and a stupid intro CS courses I hadn't completed because nothing depended on it didn't conflict, because I was screwed if they did.
**College required you to take two classes focused on pre-1900s (@ courses) and two classes focused on non-Western civilizations (# courses). The phrase "it had an @ and a # and it was only three credits at a convenient time" may have been uttered. Also, Acting 101 counted towards the humanities requirement.
***Note that I had friends, had friends who took squishy courses, and had friends who were majoring in squishy things. I just couldn't make the leap to soliciting the information from them that I could process into something useful for me.
My CS/Bio double major hurt more than it looked. Not only did it require a lot of courses, and a lot of very long sequences requiring exquisite timing on my part*, but it made my schedule very rigid. I couldn't take the risk of signing up for a potentially interesting but also potentially stupid class, because I couldn't afford to drop it without replacing it, and the chances of finding something else that interested me, fulfilled my degree requirement, and fit into my schedule were miniscule. So I not only refused to take more than the bare minimum number of required social science and humanities courses, I went through some shenanigans to lower the investment those took**.
Lately (5 years post college) I've been regretting that decision. I can do my own reading in social sciences and humanities, but I lack a wise mentor or informed peer group to discuss it with. I'm eternally grateful for the internet for the blogging community that lets me approximate these things, but it's Not The Same.
But maybe it's Not The Same for the better. I went to a Feminist Science Fiction book club last week. I hadn't enjoyed the book, but it was the kind of non-enjoyment that could be turned around by an interesting discussion revealing things I hadn't thought of. That did not happen. My big thought when I left (early) was "hipsters are real." On the other hand, the friend that went with me, who was a religious studies major, felt like she'd gone home to college. So while I'm extremely happy I was able to introduce a friend to something she loves, I'm now thinking maybe it's just as well I kept to my narrow range of interests. Yes, the straightjacket feeling was unpleasant, but it was the only way to get both majors, and they given me a huge degree of freedom post college. In retrospect, the thing to do would have been to gather data from friends about which professors were actually good and try to take their classes, but it didn't occur to me to choose based on anything but class description at the time (hello, introversion***).
So I was reaching peace with my college course selection when I had a dream that I'd reenrolled at my undergrad institution and was majoring in biochem (a subject that interests me more now than it did then, but is still not an area of focus for me). This inspired me to wander around undergrad institution's course website, and then my local university's website. And man, I just want to go be a professional student forever now.
^Which seems like exactly what Alfie Kohn was taking about in Punished by Rewards
*My last semester, I had to pray German 2.5 and a stupid intro CS courses I hadn't completed because nothing depended on it didn't conflict, because I was screwed if they did.
**College required you to take two classes focused on pre-1900s (@ courses) and two classes focused on non-Western civilizations (# courses). The phrase "it had an @ and a # and it was only three credits at a convenient time" may have been uttered. Also, Acting 101 counted towards the humanities requirement.
***Note that I had friends, had friends who took squishy courses, and had friends who were majoring in squishy things. I just couldn't make the leap to soliciting the information from them that I could process into something useful for me.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 10:52 pm (UTC)my math homework exposed exactly 0% of my soul
This is a good observation. Probably is one of the reasons for those years of middle school where I diligently did all my math homework, but could not bring myself to do anything in social studies, English, or science. Especially English.