Sep. 19th, 2013

pktechgirlbackup: (pktechgirl)
I'm on a recruiting trip for work and have noticed something interesting. To my surprise, the hours of talking with undergrads have not been draining. They've either been outright energizing, or left me with the kind of good tired you get after a good workout. For three hours, I only thought about what I was doing, and that was wonderful. On the other hand, dinner with my co-workers left me wanting to cut my wrists with a spork.

I think I've been misusing the word "drained." Three hours of pitching to sophomores left me drained, but I was really happy I'd done it. I needed to rest afterwords, but I enjoyed the hell out of that rest, like a really good netflix session after weight training. There was no amount of energy that would have made interaction with my co-workers fun. It might have made me less miserable under other circumstances, but honestly, no. They were boring and I wanted to go discuss medieval economics with my boyfriend or creedal vs. non-creedal religions with my friend. Afterwords I needed to recover, not rest. This was like a netflix session while seriously ill- it beats going outside, but I'm still miserable. "Get sick and watch TV" does not sound like an excellent day the way "bike 20 miles and then watch TV" does." Let's call this icky feeling leeched.

Now that I know what good drained feels like, I can see all the interactions I thought were draining but were actually leeching. I thought I could solve those problems by resting more, but I can't. It is time to look at other options. And not just dodging unpleasant things either. No more running, I aim to misbehave.


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