On sacrifice
Aug. 14th, 2013 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pktechgirlbackupAt the end of June, my doctor advised me to drop milk, eggs, wheat, yeast, and some miscellaneous produce. I was...against this. it was based on tests (igG response) that produced pretty graphs, but the test seemed to be unerringly detecting the foods I actually ate. And it turns out that the test is pretty controversial, with my friend's allergist telling her that it did exactly that, and my naturopath (and hers) saying that it detected actual problems. But I decided to give it a shot. I would eat whatever I wanted until the fourth of July weekend (which gave me five days), go through the inevitable withdrawal over the four day weekend, and then commit to it.
My reaction has been... weird. First, even though I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted in those interstitial five days, I didn't use it. I kept going with eggs at work in the morning because there was rarely a better option, but without even thinking about it the others started dropping out.
I made a few rules: one, I would not accept substitutes- no cookies made with rice and vegetable oil. If I was going to give these things up, I was going to embrace what I was eating instead, not taunt myself with inferior substitutes that were quite likely to cause the same problems anyway. Two, I was not going to be afraid of food. Work very helpfully labels food with potential allergens, and I could control what I ate at home, but if I was at a restaurant I was not going to worry about trace contaminants or interrogating the restaurant staff.
My reaction was heavily bifurcated. Once I gave the foods up for good, I didn't want them. Or rather, my brain missed them. I had a memory of wanting them very badly. I bitched endlessly to my friends about the things I couldn't eat. I hated having to tell myself no. I lost ~five pounds over a month. I'm probably not getting enough protein, because I'm still slowly ramping up my meat consumption. But my body did not want any of the banned foods. It was inconvenient to eat nothing but meat and produce, but that was about it. I hadn't noticed a huge physical change, but I my chronic low level heartburn did dissipate.
The mental cravings increased, to the point that I *dreamed* about cheating. I decided that I could break the rules for feast days, especially for emotionally significant foods. My birthday is coming up, and my !boyfriend cooks, so I concocted a plan in which he would make me ice cream cake and I would have pizza, which is how I celebrated birthdays as a child and also Samhain two years running.
I did not make it quite that long. The day after I dreamed about ice cream, I had an early birthday dinner with my best friend, and decided that since it was A birthday celebration I could get crab wontons. I crashed afterwords, but that could mean anything. The interesting part is that a few hours later, my lymph nodes swelled up, and they still haven't gone done. And now that I noticed, I remembered that they used to be chronically swollen, and that must have gone away at some point
I'm not going to cancel my birthday, partially because one day is not conclusive and I need more data, partially because I couldn't stand to see the look on the boy's face if I told him I didn't want his cake anymore, and partially because ICE CREAM CAKE. But if this pans out, I think the food sacrifices are going to stick around.
My reaction has been... weird. First, even though I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted in those interstitial five days, I didn't use it. I kept going with eggs at work in the morning because there was rarely a better option, but without even thinking about it the others started dropping out.
I made a few rules: one, I would not accept substitutes- no cookies made with rice and vegetable oil. If I was going to give these things up, I was going to embrace what I was eating instead, not taunt myself with inferior substitutes that were quite likely to cause the same problems anyway. Two, I was not going to be afraid of food. Work very helpfully labels food with potential allergens, and I could control what I ate at home, but if I was at a restaurant I was not going to worry about trace contaminants or interrogating the restaurant staff.
My reaction was heavily bifurcated. Once I gave the foods up for good, I didn't want them. Or rather, my brain missed them. I had a memory of wanting them very badly. I bitched endlessly to my friends about the things I couldn't eat. I hated having to tell myself no. I lost ~five pounds over a month. I'm probably not getting enough protein, because I'm still slowly ramping up my meat consumption. But my body did not want any of the banned foods. It was inconvenient to eat nothing but meat and produce, but that was about it. I hadn't noticed a huge physical change, but I my chronic low level heartburn did dissipate.
The mental cravings increased, to the point that I *dreamed* about cheating. I decided that I could break the rules for feast days, especially for emotionally significant foods. My birthday is coming up, and my !boyfriend cooks, so I concocted a plan in which he would make me ice cream cake and I would have pizza, which is how I celebrated birthdays as a child and also Samhain two years running.
I did not make it quite that long. The day after I dreamed about ice cream, I had an early birthday dinner with my best friend, and decided that since it was A birthday celebration I could get crab wontons. I crashed afterwords, but that could mean anything. The interesting part is that a few hours later, my lymph nodes swelled up, and they still haven't gone done. And now that I noticed, I remembered that they used to be chronically swollen, and that must have gone away at some point
I'm not going to cancel my birthday, partially because one day is not conclusive and I need more data, partially because I couldn't stand to see the look on the boy's face if I told him I didn't want his cake anymore, and partially because ICE CREAM CAKE. But if this pans out, I think the food sacrifices are going to stick around.
