I promise you this/a little's enough
Aug. 12th, 2012 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pktechgirlbackupIn honor of my upcoming birthday, here is a list of things I learned since the last one:
Sometimes things that are necessary to protect yourself in one context are harmful in another or even keep you trapped in the original one.
Vulnerability is the path to happiness, in part because once you've admitted something, you no longer hurt yourself in order to hide or deny it.
Don't get mad at your past self for being dumber than your current self. The real problem would be if she was smarter.
Teen Mom is a better show than you would think.
Sometimes making the best of a bad situation still leaves you with an awful situation.
People who actually hate drama will slowly and quietly move away from people who say "I hate drama".
"I'm X" is only a useful sentence if other people will say they are not X.
You're not obligated to like someone, but you're also not obligated to share that dislike to make them a better person. Sometimes glossing over it is the best thing for you, and that's okay.
Labeling actions is more helpful than labeling people.
The solution to succeeding at things is to find a low stakes place to fail over and over.
Dealing with emotions is almost an entirely separate thing from dealing with the problem that caused them.
Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. This doesn't obligate you to feel good about the process when you're in the middle of paying the emotional price and have yet to receive any benefits.
Hugo Schwyzer's issues look more serious every day.
Sometimes people are really good at a thing and then it gets harder or they run out of cope and they stop being good at it. That doesn't mean you were wrong to think they were good at it originally.
A lot of what we (I) think of as "suffering caused by X" isn't caused by X. It's not even caused by the feelings you have in the immediate response to X. It's caused by trying to make yourself not feel them.
Sometimes you give people a second chance and they do the exact same thing you dropped them for in the first place. That doesn't mean you were wrong to give them that chance.
Sometimes the only thing you get from using your words is the certainty that it's not a miscommunication, this person can't or won't meet your needs. That doesn't mean using your words didn't work.
Introversion affects more than we know.
Fewer things in this world are reflections on us than we think.
It is not my job to Fix Things, and I can enforce this in ways other than physically leaving.
Think carefully before rejecting advice you solicited. If you were so good at solving this problem you wouldn't be asking for advice.
Following good rules of thumb does not guarantee good results in any individual case.
Captain Awkward is amazing.
"There's no accounting for people. They're squishy and they don't make sense"
Sometimes things that are necessary to protect yourself in one context are harmful in another or even keep you trapped in the original one.
Vulnerability is the path to happiness, in part because once you've admitted something, you no longer hurt yourself in order to hide or deny it.
Don't get mad at your past self for being dumber than your current self. The real problem would be if she was smarter.
Teen Mom is a better show than you would think.
Sometimes making the best of a bad situation still leaves you with an awful situation.
People who actually hate drama will slowly and quietly move away from people who say "I hate drama".
"I'm X" is only a useful sentence if other people will say they are not X.
You're not obligated to like someone, but you're also not obligated to share that dislike to make them a better person. Sometimes glossing over it is the best thing for you, and that's okay.
Labeling actions is more helpful than labeling people.
The solution to succeeding at things is to find a low stakes place to fail over and over.
Dealing with emotions is almost an entirely separate thing from dealing with the problem that caused them.
Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. This doesn't obligate you to feel good about the process when you're in the middle of paying the emotional price and have yet to receive any benefits.
Hugo Schwyzer's issues look more serious every day.
Sometimes people are really good at a thing and then it gets harder or they run out of cope and they stop being good at it. That doesn't mean you were wrong to think they were good at it originally.
A lot of what we (I) think of as "suffering caused by X" isn't caused by X. It's not even caused by the feelings you have in the immediate response to X. It's caused by trying to make yourself not feel them.
Sometimes you give people a second chance and they do the exact same thing you dropped them for in the first place. That doesn't mean you were wrong to give them that chance.
Sometimes the only thing you get from using your words is the certainty that it's not a miscommunication, this person can't or won't meet your needs. That doesn't mean using your words didn't work.
Introversion affects more than we know.
Fewer things in this world are reflections on us than we think.
It is not my job to Fix Things, and I can enforce this in ways other than physically leaving.
Think carefully before rejecting advice you solicited. If you were so good at solving this problem you wouldn't be asking for advice.
Following good rules of thumb does not guarantee good results in any individual case.
Captain Awkward is amazing.
"There's no accounting for people. They're squishy and they don't make sense"
