A follow up point: I've got one friend with a toxic parent who did cut her off, and the expectation that she should unconditionally love her mother and if she were a decent person her mother would love her causes her a lot of pain. And another whose mom did turn herself around, but only after he cut her off emotionally. So what I really want is for a wider range of offspring behavior to be acceptable- if you can love your parents from a healthy distance, fine, but if someone fucks you over repeatedly, it needs to be okay to completely separate.