Drugs are bad mmmkay
Feb. 5th, 2011 12:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pktechgirlbackupSome guy has a brilliant post about addicts and why they are not your friends, will never be your friends, can't be your friends, because their first allegiance is always to the drug. I really only have abstract knowledge of substance abuse, so this was... not exactly eye opening, because it wasn't new facts, but revealing in the same way Good Hair or Sound and Fury were, in helping me understand the emotional depth of the issue.
I'm pretty sure this generalizes beyond drugs though: know what your friends consider more important than you, and know what the consequences of them choosing it over you are, and don't put yourself in situations where you can't accept those consequences. Having things more important than a particular friend is not a bad thing: it would be abhorrent if scythe_of_time didn't prioritize her toddler's needs over mine. But it also means there are certain favors I wouldn't ask her, even though she's a fantastic and highly devoted friend, because there's too high a likelihood the kid would take precedence and I'm not prepared to accept the consequences of that. If you know a friend of yours is married to their work and frequently cancels plans when something comes up, you don't go to a far away party where that friend is the only person who can drive you home. AKA. Don't enmesh yourself in a system where you know the incentives are against you.
The larger post is about the drug advice he gave to his kids, and it's pretty fantastic. None of this "one joint will ruin your life" bullshit, lots of "this stuff has horrific consequences you won't realize you've brought upon yourself until it's too late and here are specific believable explanations as to how that happens."
I'm pretty sure this generalizes beyond drugs though: know what your friends consider more important than you, and know what the consequences of them choosing it over you are, and don't put yourself in situations where you can't accept those consequences. Having things more important than a particular friend is not a bad thing: it would be abhorrent if scythe_of_time didn't prioritize her toddler's needs over mine. But it also means there are certain favors I wouldn't ask her, even though she's a fantastic and highly devoted friend, because there's too high a likelihood the kid would take precedence and I'm not prepared to accept the consequences of that. If you know a friend of yours is married to their work and frequently cancels plans when something comes up, you don't go to a far away party where that friend is the only person who can drive you home. AKA. Don't enmesh yourself in a system where you know the incentives are against you.
The larger post is about the drug advice he gave to his kids, and it's pretty fantastic. None of this "one joint will ruin your life" bullshit, lots of "this stuff has horrific consequences you won't realize you've brought upon yourself until it's too late and here are specific believable explanations as to how that happens."
