The uphill battle for women's clothing

[Scene: Rachel and I are out shopping for clothes]

Me: this shirt is cute but has no hips. Back it goes.
Rachel: shirts have hips?

Admittedly, Rachel is probably used to choosing tops to accommodate boobs, rather than hips, but that doesn't change the fact that men vary in 4 +/- 2 dimensions and women vary in 10^(4 +/- 2) dimensions. Even if clothing manufacturers stopped being asshats, it's never going to be as easy for us.

vintage foiled assholery

[Bob and I are driving to 3 day diving weekend. I have left my deliberately laptop behind]

Me: So I figure [random hot boy]'s probably not going to e-mail me back, but at least he's out of the queue.
Bob: I could be really mean now.
Me: Oh?
Bob: really really mean. But I won't.
Me: you're clearly being mean right now, you might as well say it.
Bob (all dramatic like): What if he's emailed you since you left the computer?
Me: I can check my e-mail on my phone, Bob.
Bob: Oh